BDSM Role-play: Ideas For Beginners
10 BDSM Role-Play Ideas
From bending over the desk for a spanking from a strict teacher, to popping your legs in stirrups for an intimate medical examination by a dishy Doctor or naughty nurse, there’s a world of BDSM fun out there. Maybe you would like to dress up as a cute puppy complete with ears and a tail, or perhaps you want to abduct your lover, interrogate them and force them to confess their deepest, darkest desires…
If you’re keen to take your sex-life from mild to wild, BDSM role-play (Bondage, Domination / Discipline, Submission / Sadism, Masochism) can add the spice you need. Spanking, bondage, medical play, age play, sploshing, pet play, consensual non-consent are just a few of the kinky activities you can indulge in. BDSM role-play allows you to explore your sexual fantasies and engage in taboo fun.
What exactly is BDSM role play?
Best described as kinky storytelling for adults, BDSM role-play allows you to set the scene, dress up as a character, and play out a naughty scenario, and with so many scenarios to choose from you might be spoiled for choice. Well, we can help you with that, in celebration of BDSM Day on 24th July, here are ten BDSM role-play ideas to get the party started…
Role Play Ideas
If you’re a nervous newbie, BDSM can feel a little daunting. But you don’t have to crack your whip straight away. Start slowly with simple scenarios and build your confidence. We’ll talk more about safety later, but before you begin any scene you must talk with your lover, discuss limits, identify safe words and always engage in SSC (Safe, Sane and Consensual) play. Remember role play should be fun! Check out our top ten role play ideas.
Doctor & Patient
Doctor Love will see you now! Clever, skilled and authoritative, Doctors have a reputation for taking control. With their smart white coats and stern bedside manner they can ask you to strip for an intimate medical check up. As a patient you’ll be thoroughly examined and probed.
This could involve propping your legs in stirrups and having your breasts and genitals squeezed and toyed with. Don’t forget the rectal thermometer to check your temperature, and you might even need an enema to cleanse you.
Soldier & Prisoner
The soldier and prisoner scenario lends itself well to fear play, with the soldier (dominant) capturing their victim (submissive) and forcing them to follow instructions. The soldier gets to dress in military or combat gear, shout orders and threaten, as the prisoner is hooded, restrained and strip-searched. If the prisoner refuses to comply they will need to be punished before being interrogated. You can crank things up a notch by torturing your captive, but keep it light - we’re talking being chained to a wall rather than water boarding!
Boss & Secretary
As a sexy secretary you get to dress provocatively and do your best to please your boss. Of course, mistakes are occasionally made, but in this kinky workplace you’re not given a written warning when you get things wrong. Instead your skirt is pulled up, your knickers are pulled down and you’re forced over your manager’s knee for a painful spanking. Performance appraisals have never been so much fun!
Teacher & Student
It’s time to go back to school where the strict teacher will educate you on how to behave. You can have lots of fun with this BDSM scenario, with the dominant dressing in sober teacher-style clothing and the student (submissive) dressed in a school uniform, complete with long socks and blazer. There are plenty of opportunities for punishment, if you’re late, don't hand in your homework on time or produce sloppy work you’ll need to face the consequences. Perhaps you’ll be forced to stand by the wall, write lines or, if you've been very naughty, you will have to bend over for a harsh caning
Intruder & Homeowner
Imagine a stealthy thief sneaking into your home to rummage through your treasures. You’re snoozing in bed when you’re awoken by a dark figure dressed in black from head to toe. A piercing pair of eyes peer at you from a balaclava and as you try to scream a leather-gloved hand is clamped over your mouth. This CNC (consensual non-consent) style scenario is a powerful way to play. The thief can restrain their victim, tying them to the bed and gagging them so they are unable to move or get help. The victim lies helpless, unsure of what the intruder will do next.
Pet Play
Pet play is a great option for those who are new to the world of BDSM as it’s relatively safe and fun. The kink involves one partner dressing as an animal and the other acting as its owner or handler. Popular animal play characters include cats, dogs, and ponies, but you can dress up and pretend to be anything you please, from a fluffy rabbit to a fierce dragon. Put a collar on your pet and pull them around by a leash, or get them to drink from a bowl and curl up on a fluffy bed. If you want to be meaner, force your naughty pet into a cage or make them go outside to pee in the garden.
Foot Worship
Feet can be sweet, and foot fetish is very common within the kink community. Foot worshippers typically enjoy looking longingly at shoes, tights, stockings, and feet. They love to caress, lick and suck toes, heels, and soles. Arouse your submissive by dressing in high heels and forcing them to kneel, nose pressed to your shiny shoes, perhaps they can clean the heels for you with their tongue? Or maybe you need a footstool, in which case your sub can get down on all fours as you rest your tired tootsies on their back.
Cuckold and Cuckcake
Threesomes can be a real turn on, as can watching your partner make love to someone else.
Imagine sitting back with a cold drink and watching a skilled lover tease and toy with your partner. Or perhaps you would prefer to be restrained and blindfolded, getting more excited as you listen to your partner moaning and groaning as they enjoy foreplay and then sex, before screaming as they orgasm. For some, involving others in their bedroom antics is a step too far, but even if you’re not keen on turning a cuckold fantasy into reality you can still talk about it. Describe in detail what you would like to see your partner do to someone else, and have them do the same for you.
Foodie Fun
How about using your partner as a buffet table? Have them strip off and lie flat and then place tasty titbits on their naked skin. Popular delights include strawberries and cream and even sushi (chopsticks optional)! You can have great fun drizzling chocolate sauce over your lover and then licking it off. As the discerning diner you get to enjoy feasting on flavoursome goodies and your partner at the same time – bon appetit.
Sensation Play
Sensation play can be a great way to introduce sensual BDSM into your relationship. Use a silky blindfold to restrict sight and fluffy handcuffs to limit movement. You can even place headphones over the submissive's ears to muffle noise and heighten suspense. Use a variety of items to tease your lover, from scratchy pinwheels to leather riding crops. Everyday items can useful too, feathers are fun as they are soft and tickle the skin, or you can use ice cubes to torture nipples and genitals.
Why is BDSM role-play popular?
It can be daunting at first, but BDSM role-play is a great way to boost your love life. Many of us get caught up in the daily grind, and sadly sex takes a back seat. Saturday night missionary position sex is fine, but sometimes we just want more!
We want to get excited; we want to talk dirty; we want to act out our fantasies safely, we want to push our boundaries and lose our inhibitions. BDSM can offer you all of that and more.
How to safely engage in BDSM role play
No need to go charging in with whips and chains, start slowly and take your time – especially if you’re new to the scene. Before entering into any play, you need to adopt two critical BDSM mantras: RACK (Risk Aware Consensual Kink) and SSC (Safe, Sane, and Consensual). Trust is key, as is excellent communication. Discuss and negotiate potential play in detail with your playmate(s). Outline expectations, define boundaries, agree on limits, identify safe words/signals, and talk about aftercare too.
Setting the scene
If a BDSM scene features two players, one typically takes a dominant stance and the other is submissive. If the scene involves a group, there might be different dynamics, including dominants, submissives, and switches (those who like to dominate and submit). It’s a good idea to plan some elements of the scene in advance but a little spontaneity can work wonders too (providing you respect boundaries and limits). Make sure your chosen setting fits with your scenario and gather any props and costumes in advance.
Ready to spice up your love life?
Life gets in the way sometimes. We’re juggling busy careers, family commitments, chores, and other tasks, so its unsurprising sex is overlooked. Maybe it’s time to freshen up your love-life. BDSM can add naughtiness and spice, allowing you to lose your inhibitions and try out new experiences. Need a few pointers? Check out our workshop, better sex beyond the bedroom, we’ll help you to get to grips with your sexual responses, prioritize sex and boost your passion.