Are Sex Toys forbidden fruit?

Is the female sex toy a forbidden fruit?

Forbidden fruit is defined as something that is desired all the more because it is not allowed.

While the immediate answer to the question seem to be a yes, is it really true that female sex toys (and by extension a women’s control over a her sexual pleasures) are considered as forbidden fruit today? Let’s first unpack society’s perception of women’s pleasure in the past and our present.

These lyrics from Cardi B’s W.A.P (short for Wet Ass Pussy) stirred controversy by celebrating women’s pleasure through her song. This debate is definitely odd considering men often referred to women as “pleasure things” and yet those words were not debated about as ferociously as W.A.P.

Moving beyond pop culture and back to Singapore, Cardi B’s controversial piece would translate locally into “Haha, she use sex toys la. She’s confirm horny and slutty!”. Why do we think this way? One might attribute this to our conservative Asian mindset, where sexual pleasure for a woman should only be derived through intercourse between a man and woman but actually these conservative thoughts can be identified back to the historical perception of male-female gender roles in societies, where a man provides and a woman serves. This gender biased belief is clearly illustrated by looking at sex toys usage in the 1900s.

Empowering women through sex toys

The sex toy industry in the early 1900s was marketed specifically to men as medical devices or “marital aids” to assist them in penetrating their wives rather than intended for a woman’s solo use. Experts speculate that during the time, the idea of a sexually independent woman masturbating and not needing a man was seen as threatening to the patriarchal status of men; no woman should get it (read sexual pleasure) unless a man controls the toy or the “D”.

In the 1970s, feminists fought tooth and nail to reclaim the sex toy, as being able to own a sex toy was breaking away from this inequality and seen as the equivalent of bestowing future generations of women with sex positivity and autonomy over their own pleasure.

So, is the female sex toy really a forbidden fruit?

This casual question brought us on a journey uncovering society’s bias against women owning their sexual pleasures and explored reasons behind this phenomenon.

It is ironic isn’t it? The truth is, women today are well-emancipated. In fact, it has become more common in Singapore to hear the flipping of traditional male-female gender roles: Women holding leadership positions in corporations and political office; Women earning more than men; Men actively taking up domestic roles traditionally relegated to women. Yet conversations of pleasure remains muted to these same women.

As we explore our own sexual pleasures, let’s take a step back to ponder: Does career success, swapping gender roles illustrate female empowerment? Or are there other factors (including the ability to explore innate sexual pleasures) that should be considered before we can fully claim to be empowered women?